Sometimes as teachers we hurt. We have headaches, backaches, heart aches, and loss. But so much is dependent on educators being at school. In fact, it is often harder for educators to take a day off than it is to just work sick. Lesson plans for subs, the 3 days it takes to get your class back on track after an absence, and the catching up that has to be done often makes us want to muddle through.
It's been that kind of year for me. Illnesses and deaths of those close to me, chronic neck, back and shoulder pain for myself. I'm not myself. Things set me off quicker. Forgiveness comes slower. My ability to be engaging jazz hands in front of students and teachers isn't quite there. Stress from whatever source- from within the school or from outside affects us as educators. We must search for ways to dig deeper, find joy in the little things, or rest because muckiness begets muckiness and the cycle is a downward spiral.
I'm not good at not doing that which I am tasked to do. (Yes I know there were double negatives there). But today I rest. Today I take a day to get better. I want to give my best every day. It's what I am called to do. But the truth is just like parents aren't always their best, students aren't always their best, neither am I. I am human. I make mistakes, I have faults, I fail people, I am not always on my "A-game." We are all that way.
We get frustrated when things don't run as a well-oiled machine. We get frustrated when we have to deal with the faults and bad decisions of others. We get frustrated when everyone isn't there pulling their weight. It's human nature to expect the team members to be playing their positions as posted. Today is a day when I am smacked in the face with the fact that life doesn't always go as planned. And even the most well meaning person isn't perfect nor will they always be the perfect employee. We must give and take, be there for others, listen and adjust and grow from the moments when we are our weakest. And we must offer the same kind of understanding to those we work with. Today I rest and reflect and hope to go back tomorrow better in so many areas of my life.